Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
