And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
That's how pantless uber rides happen
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize
