well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im just a social blackout drinker.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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