been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
