Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
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