Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
