brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
Randomize
