What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
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