Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
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