She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
Randomize
