I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
This gyro tastes like lonliness
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Randomize