Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
