the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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