it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
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