dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
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