either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Randomize
