I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
I need a hoe opinion
go on
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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