I woke up this morning wearing my tux shirt and jacket, but no pants.
______ was pissed. My breath tastes like tequila and doritos, and I couldn't get it up.
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize
