So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Randomize
