is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
our cab driver is having phone sex.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
