New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
Randomize
