Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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