what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
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