We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
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