I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
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