guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
Randomize
