I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
Randomize
