I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
Randomize
