Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
whose ass print is on the piano?
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize
