i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
Randomize
