Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Randomize