I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
wow bdsm is so cute
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