Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
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