I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
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