Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Randomize
