I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
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