Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
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