just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
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Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
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