His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
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