He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
Randomize
