I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
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