This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Randomize
