Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
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