let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
