# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
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