i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
the condom got lost in my hair
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
Randomize
