Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
Randomize
