brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
I'm in a cab, in a strange city, and my driver looks like he's going to eat me. My facebook password is **** I want you to have the one thing I hold dearest to my heart.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
