he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
Randomize
