Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
ok first of all what the fuck
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
Randomize
