He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
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