I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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