So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
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