OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize