The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
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