yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
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