she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's not cheating when I paid for it
either way he was missing a nipple.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
Randomize