There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
Randomize
