I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
You peed on a flamingo?!?
Randomize
