He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
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